The story of María

By CINDY VON QUEDNOW
EL NUEVO SOL

María had her first daughter in a car, without the help of a doctor or specialist.

“There wasn’t light or water, or anyone who could help me,” remembered María, as tears rolled down her face. “The baby was hungry, her umbilical cord was still attached. Until someone saved us and took me to the emergency room… I couldn’t take the pain.”

After the scare, María never had the support of her parents.

“They always told me, ‘take your bastard and get away from here, you stink.’”

María felt obligated to immigrate to the United States and leave her daughter behind in Jalisco, Mexico. When she returned a few years later, to take her daughter with her, her mother didn’t want to give her back; she wanted her daughter to sign away custody of her granddaughter. María didn’t sign anything, but she left her daughter for a second time.

In the U.S, María had three children with her new partner, who beat and isolated her. Every time she would get pregnant, he tried to kill her, and even threatened to kill her daughter in Mexico to make sure that she stayed by his side.

María compares her isolation to live trapped inside a hole (in Spanish).
[audio:http://www.elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/Maria_Audio_1.MP3]

María said that when her mother found out about her violent relationship, instead of helping her, she cut off communication between Maria and her daughter.

“I spent years not knowing anything about her, I wrote her letters, I called her, I didn’t receive anything,” María said. “It wasn’t until I separated from my children’s father that I started to communicate with her again.”

María left her abuser four years ago and aided in a criminal investigation, which she used to qualify for a U-Visa.

After being in a domestic violence situation, María promised her children peace and happiness (in Spanish).
[audio:http://www.elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/Maria_Audio_2.MP3]

Today, she is ready to apply for permanent residency and reestablish contact and a relationship with her daughter, who is now 18 years old.

María said she feels like a new person and she is now dedicated to studying and helping others in her situation.

“Ever since I ended my domestic violence, I have changed like 90 percent, I feel stronger,” María said. “I lost a lot because I was in an unhealthy relationship. I understood that there don’t need to be any barriers for me. I’ve talked a lot about my situation so that women who are going through what I went through… learn to love themselves, value themselves and that they know there is always help out there for them, they are not alone.”

After living in darkness for so long, María has hope and goals for the future.

“I still cry, my wounds don’t heal, neither does my pain, but I have hope that one day I will be able to go to Mexico and return to my mother,” María said. “It is my dream to hug my mom and my daughter.”