By CINDY VON QUEDNOW
EL NUEVO SOL

Juanita speaks about her abusive relationship of almost 35 years as if it happened to someone else. That’s because after escaping from her husband in October 2008, she has become a completely different person.

Her daughter Karla said that if she looks at photos of her mom from back then, there are many differences in her appearance and demeanor.

“I don’t remember much, I am just happy to be out and about,” said Juanita, 53. “I regret that I didn’t leave years ago.”

Her husband’s abuse started soon after her wedding in Guadalajara, Mexico, and continued in the United States.

Juanita explains how her husband abused her (in Spanish).
[audio:http://www.elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/Juanita_Audio_1.MP3]

[audio:https://elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Invisible04-1.mp3]

 

While she was living in a foreign city without documents, Juanita felt trapped by her husband’s side. She didn’t have a family to consol her and she didn’t speak English so she couldn’t look for help. During that time, violence was part of her life, something normal.

“I don’t know why I took it, I would say, ‘Where do I go,’” Juanita remembered. “I couldn’t go anywhere and I would say, ‘How could I leave him, if one day I leave him and I go far, he will find me and kill me.’”

Juanita says why she couldn’t leave her abuser (in Spanish).
[audio:http://www.elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/Juanita_Audio_2.MP3]

After a particularly heated argument, Juanita and two of her adult children decided to escape. Little by little they packed important possessions: documents, clothes, a computer, and they hid their luggage in Karla’s room. One night their friends waited for them outside their house while Juanita’s husband was asleep. Juanita has not seen him since that night.

Juanita and her kids have started a new life in a new city, but the wounds remain.

“I don’t think I can ever forget what he did to me, but I do feel better, I feel 100 percent better here,” Juanita said.

She qualified for the Violence Against Women Act and she is applying for permanent residency. Juanita is keeping herself busy by volunteering and learning English. She wants to study culinary arts and open her own restaurant one day.

Juanita is happy to have left the house that she shared with her violent husband.

“We’d still be there, tolerating him,” she said.

Juanita speaks about how different she feels now after leaving her abuser (in Spanish).
[audio:http://www.elnuevosol.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/Juanita_Audio_3.MP3]

Tags:  Cindy Von Quednow Domestic Violence Guadalajara VAWA Violence Against Women Act Violencia doméstica